Episode 87-Reflecting on the Future
Reflecting on moving forward, our eternal hope, and anchoring our fragile earthly steps in God.
This is the concluding part of our series on -Healing from the Grief of Loss of a loved one. So far, we have looked at the emotion of grieving and stressed that grieving is absolutely normal and that we should never suppress our feelings of pain of loss. We have counseled against friends, family and colleagues trying to suppress grieving by the statements they make. In the last Episode, we acknowledged our relationship with God during our time of grieving and the fact that He is present with us in those days. We concluded that it is only by holding on to God like a robe that we can climb out of the pit of grief. In this Episode, we shall reflect on moving forward and what lies ahead in the future.
What does the future hold after the loss of our loved one? We have to find a way to move forward.
Moving forward with your life does not mean your pain will end abruptly or that you forget your loved one. Most of us would carry our losses with us throughout life. The loss becomes part of who you are. You don’t get over it. You move forward with it.
There would be painful reminders. When you think you are managing your bereavement better, a reminder such as a video clip or photograph can trigger a wave of painful memories.
The pain would gradually become easier to bear. But the memories and the love we have for the person will always remain. We do not let go of memories and love. We remember with less sorrow.
The death of my sister has caused me to reflect deeply on life. The death of a person close to you can be a rude reminder of the impermanence of life. It confronts us with the reality that our earthly life is temporal. Things you took for granted-routines, future plans, conversations, promises, a person’s availability and love, your place as a sister, a daughter, a wife, a husband etc can suddenly disappear.
Scripture repeatedly reminds us that life is fragile, brief and uncertain. The Bible compares life to:
Ephesian & Old Covenant Metaphors
Touch or click a passage card to load it directly into your personal quiet meditation diary below.
“For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.”
-A vapor or mist that appears briefly and disappears.
“As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth”
-Grass that withers.
Scripture
Take a quiet moment to reflect on your thoughts.
Private space. Your words stay on your local screen.
With the death of my sister, it has dawned on me that these scriptures are not just words decorating the Bible. I have realized the stark reality that life is ephemeral and unpredictable. We move through life assuming there will always be time. So we spend so much time and effort on inconsequential matters; chasing shadows, while we ignore the things that really matter.
Who better than King Solomon mirrors my reflections of life and the need to shift our priorities in his famous statement in Ecclesiastes 1:2 –vanity upon vanity: all is vanity.
The Hebrew Word used for vanity in this context carries the idea of something fleeting, vapor-like, temporary or elusive.
The death of a loved one makes this truth painfully clear. It reveals that human achievements, beauty, wealth, integrity, caution, love, fame are only illusions of permanence. They are fleeting.
King Solomon observes that people labour, build, dream and strive, yet eventually ‘one generation passeth away, and another generation cometh’ (Ecclesiastes 1:4)
But thank God, the Book of Ecclesiastes does not ultimately teach hopelessness because life is temporal. No. Ecclesiastes 12:13 declares –“Fear God, and keep His commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.”
Surrender Breathing Pacer
Grieving places immense physical tension on the heart. Breathe slowly as the circle expands, hold, and release as it contracts.
The message is that life without God at the center is vanity. The conclusion points to the fact that no matter what we achieve in life or how much fame we achieve, a life without God at its center, is an empty life because everything earthly passes away. Only our relationship with God is everlasting.
So today, my priorities have shifted; to intentionally make my life revolve on my relationship with God; to investing into my relationships with family and close friends; and very importantly to finding fulfillment and spending my time, not in temporary things that do not contribute to my relationship with God, but in things that are eternal and nurture my relationship with God.
Further reflections have also allowed me to face the truth that after all said and done, like our loved ones who have gone, we also will pass some day. Like we saw in James 4, life is like vapor that appears briefly and disappears. The most important thing is to labour to end on the right side of eternity at the end of my life. And this is a matter none of us should take lightly. The passing of our loved one, should make us face this question squarely and resolve to make amends where we need to.
The Comfort of Eternal Glory
“For I reckon that the suffering of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed to us.”
This scripture reminds us that the grief we face today would pale in comparison to the greater purpose and joy ahead of us when we meet our Lord.
“Who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
Also an important aspect of grief and suffering is that God uses our pain to help others.
The challenges we face today are getting us ready for an eternal glory. According to Rev 21:4, at the end of our lives, when we meet Him, God will wipe away every tear from our eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.
I hope that I may have comforted someone who is experiencing some kind of grief or suffering with the comfort that God granted to me through this conversation of this series on dealing with bereavement.
Let me conclude with this question-One day someone would grieve over you. What are you doing to ensure your loved ones remember you with kind and loving thoughts when you depart this world?
“Dear Father, remove the fear of death from me; and grant me the sure revelation that no matter what grief and suffering I experience in this life, they cannot be compared with the glory of life in your Heavenly kingdom..”