We shall continue with our theme on Overcoming Anger Issues in this Episode.
In our last episode we reviewed the root and seriousness of anger issues. We saw that
uncontrolled anger can be destructive, lead to unnecessary arguments, violence,
emotional trauma, destruction of relationships as well as result in physical harm to your
body systems. And we saw that anger is not of God. Today we shall consider the
question- How then do we tackle and overcome the problem of anger?
It’s difficult to subdue and suppress anger and let go in the flesh or in our own
strength; but a good exercise to undertake sometimes is to reflect on God’s kindness
and forgiveness for us. Can you fathom the fact that Jesus Christ sacrificed His own life
for you; took the punishment for your sins even before you committed them and
promised you that nothing can come between you and His love for you; that nothing
you do can separate you from His love?….
And this is not because of anything you have done. It’s just because of His love for us.
That is huge. 
So my first advise on overcoming anger problem is to constantly reflect on Christ’s
sacrifice for you. This would certainly help you to have a rethink on the way you react to
offences. Remind yourself….God has forgiven me of worse so I should be able to
forgive others.
I mentioned earlier that we can’t succeed on this journey without first changing our
mindset about the need to work on this issue. So we need to Read scriptures about
God’s love and sacrifice to help us slowly change our mindset and to see the need
to begin to control the habit of lashing out and reacting angrily once upset. 
Obviously this is an exercise you need to embark on on a routine basis if you struggle
with anger issues. Because you would probably not achieve good results if you want to
start reflecting on Christ’s sacrifice for us when you have already been offended. You
need to meditate on Christ’s sacrifice and forgiveness, on the need to bear the fruit of
the spirit, on the fact that God has given you dominion over anger; and you speak to
yourself and have conversations with yourself over these scriptures in your quiet times. 
These conversations will gradually prepare you to control outbursts of anger. And on
this times of reflection I recommend the following scriptures-1 John 4:7-12; Romans
8:35-39; Isaiah 54:10 Ephesians 2:4-7; Psalm 36:5-7.

Secondly, if you find it difficult to control your temper, you need to make that issue a
prayer point. 
Galatians 5:17 states-For the flesh lusts against the Spirit and the Spirit against the
flesh; and these are contrary to one another. Verse 19 of this chapter, listing the works
of the flesh include- hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish
ambitions, dissensions, envy, etc. Almost every emotion that made the list of works of
the flesh has its root in anger. So based on verse 17 of Galatians 5, when you act
in anger, you are opposing the Spirit of God, you are rebelling against the spirit of God
because the scripture says that anger is contrary to the Spirit. 
I guess this is why it is said that anger is a spirit. So we cannot really deal with the issue
of anger on your own. You cannot deal with anger problems by applying self control.
You cannot deal with this issue by deciding to stop being an angry person.  You need to
ask the help of the Holy Spirit. You need to invoke that scripture in Romans 8:11 which
says- But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who
raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit
who dwells in you. This means you should ask for the resurrection power of the Holy
Spirit to deliver you from the control of anger.
Romans 8:26-27 also provides for the help of the Spirit of God in our prayers. That
scripture states- Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know
what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us
with groaning which cannot be uttered. This scripture assures us that even when we do
not know what to pray and how to pray, the Spirit of God intercedes for us through
wordless groans. When we are so angry and do not even feel like praying for God to
help us let go, we can present the matter to the Holy Spirit and ask Him to help us pray
and deal with the matter. We just need to be honest and present the problem to God
and He will meet us where we are in our weakness. The most important thing is to
humble ourselves, avoid living in denial by pretending we are not angry and
acknowledge that we need help. We should also ask God for the strength and
enablement to apply the recommendations I am going to make subsequently or to tell
us how He wants us to deal with our anger issue.
3.Then off course your confession that anger does not control you matters a lot.
Romans 8:14 declares that sin does not have dominion over you; for you are not under
law but under Grace. This means that as a child of God you have dominion over lack of
self control including anger. Like I have said before, this scripture that says that anger
does not control you and that you have dominion over anger is a weapon you should
use to overcome anger. You need to faithfully and consistently confess that you have
dominion over anger; even right after you have goofed and over reacted, because the
Word of God is true and prevails over the circumstance. Your daily confession of the
word of God over your anger problem will help you to gradually overcome anger
because the Word of God is sharp, alive and has supernatural power.

As we work on our mindset and enlist the help of God the Holy Spirit to work on the
anger problem, other things we can do, off course asking for the help of the Holy Spirit
are
4.    When someone says an unkind word to you or does something upsetting, try not to
respond or act immediately. Instead, hold back and take your time when you are angry.
Proverbs 29:11 says- A fool gives vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself
under control. And Proverbs 29: 20 says-Do you see a man hasty in his words? There is
more hope for a fool than for him. People say you should count to ten before speaking.
But I think its better to say a quick prayer; ask the Holy Spirit to help you not to react in
anger. This may be difficult when you are angry, but if you try to start it it will get easier
with time.
 
5.    When someone treats you unfairly, try to control your emotions and let the person
know how you feel instead without lashing out angrily. If the person is argumentative,
you may decide not to discuss the matter immediately. You may wait for a better time to
talk to the person about the way they spoke to you or treated you and how you feel
about it. Proverbs 15:1-2 says –a soft answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs
up anger.
 
6. Naturally we cannot avoid arguments and healthy debates. But sometimes we find
ourselves getting into unhealthy, divisive and angry arguments that get too personal and
harsh. Such arguments promptly lead to quarrels and name calling. We should avoid
such arguments. Many times we do not have the intention of getting involved in such
unfruitful arguments but we find ourselves more and more involved because we want to
prove our points until it gets messy.   2  Timothy 2:23 says- Don’t have anything to do
with foolish and stupid arguments because you know they produce quarrels.
Sometimes, we get into arguments because we want to have the last say.
We need to be more alert to stay away from unnecessary arguments and warn
ourselves to give up when the argument is about to get into the danger zone. I have
made this a prayer point because when I get into these arguments, it has a way of
draining me emotionally.

7. Romans 12:18 says-if it is possible as far as it depends on you, live at peace with
everyone.
Making effort to live at peace with all men as long as it depends on us means to make
sure we are not the cause of a break-down of a peaceful existence with another person.

We should try to stay away from controversies and quarrels. But when a person refuses
to work on their anger problem and continues to make being around them unbearable
for us, then it may be time to find a way of putting a distance between us and such
persons without resentment.
Sometimes in a friendship, business partnership or ministry, deep disagreements may
arise due to differences of perspective or conviction. In such situations instead of
remaining together in an unhealthy and consistently contentious environment, it is
advisable to part ways peacefully. The parting of ways between Barnabas and Paul due
to a sharp disagreement about whether John Mark should travel with them on their next
missionary journey comes to mind here. As God would have it, that parting of ways
gave birth to two different ministries. This teaches us a great lesson. There is no need
to stay together under a contentious and angry atmosphere. Even if the other person
adopts an antagonistic attitude, we should stay cordial and never respond in anger or
bitterness.
You may have to set a healthy boundary in order to relate with a person that is always
angry and all attempts to relate peacefully with them has failed. Off course this is easier
if it’s a friend or colleague or someone you can easily stay away from. But what if it’s a
spouse, a parent or a child? Then you may set a boundary by politely ending the
conversation once its about to get harsh or by going to another room or leaving the
house when they get angry. Living in close proximity with a person that can’t control
their anger is not an easy way of life but its a conversation for another day.